Beautiful Stories for Ugly Children #9

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Piranha Press ⋅ 1990

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Key Facts

Non-Key Issue. No additional information is available.

Issue Details

Publisher

Piranha Press

Writer

Dave Louapre

Artist

Dan Sweetman

Cover Artist

Dan Sweetman

Published

February 1990

Synopsis

Cliff Notes Jack and Mary Beaumont: just a couple of normal teens getting ready for their junior prom.  Mary was busy worrying just where she could pin a corsage on a strapless dress, and Jack was busy solving the riddle of cummerbunds and cufflinks.  They'd be lucky to finish dressing before their dates arrived.  It was certainly no time for a heart-to-heart talk with their parents.  But Jack and Mary soon found themselves seated beside one another on the bed as Mr. Beaumont clasped his hands and leaned against the dresser before them.  Mrs. Beaumont hovered in the doorway.  They studied their parents' expressions.  They hoped it would not be a facts of life talk.  They already knew the facts of life--or at least the facts that are covered in such lectures--and were in no mood for a pop quiz. Their father clapped his hands.  "Mary, Jack," he said, "we are lemmings."  Jack and Mary sighed with relief.  They knew they were lemmings.  They'd seen pictures of other lemmings, and made the connection long ago. Unfortunately, the ensuing diatribe on "peak population periods", "instincts", and the cliff at the Founder's Day picnic left them confused.  It was an awful lotto think about for two kids who just wanted to survive their senior prom.

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